Lonley in the Wilderness

November 19, 2009 at 3:15 pm (Blessings, God, Happyness)

My friend Kristen, over at http://midnightcry.wordpress.com, is once again sharing her journey through a topic that touches my soul, and kicks my mind into high gear.


You can read the introduction here – http://midnightcry.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/loneliness/

And the most recent update here – http://midnightcry.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/loneliness-from-the-beginning/


In the way my mind wanders as I read I sometimes find myself mentally in a completely different galaxy by the end of a text, than the author intended me to be. So if you will allow me, I am going to lament on Loneliness a while longer here today, and share some of the revelations that come along with that. If we would all be so blessed as to hear God speaking to us on this matter I encourage you to share either here or on the Midnightcry blog.



The Wilderness is something that constantly lives in my mind. I ponder the years I have spent living in the wild. How God was amazing enough to allow me to experience that for all the good, the bad and the ugly that could be found there. I believe those were necessary years in my life, as those were the years that took me from dust, added enough moisture to turn me into clay and began to form me into the creation that will leave its memory on this earth.


Sometimes I would take the reins and add a little moisture on my own and be turned into a sticky puddle of mud on the floor, or stand in the sun for too long, only to find that I had turned to dust and blown down the road in the wind. Sometimes I would even jump directly into the fire and start to form that hard outer shell. God has always taken me back out of the fire and lovingly turned me back to dust and added just the right amount of moisture again.


I tell that little story like I have reached the end of the wilderness, but that’s not the case, and that’s where the revelation comes in. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will screw up again. Somewhere, Sometime I will do it, and I will do it in a big way. Even as I try to walk with God, I will hose it up somehow. So that means, I am not really out of the wilderness. I bet I am not even as close to the edge, as I imagine myself to be. In reality, when looking at the breath and the width of mans ability to walk with God, I am guessing that all I have done is reduced the leaves in the canopy of my own personal wilderness by about tenth of a percent. 


I feel like I am panting this in a negative light, and maybe that’s a good thing, but that’s not the point I am trying to get to here. What I really want to say is there are times in life where we need to shed those earthly relationships and be truly, physically alone, because those are the times when we finally can come to know ourselves. To know who we really truly are, and to know God in the way that he longs to know us.


Natives call it a Vision Quest. I call it the Wilderness. You can call it whatever you want, but the fact is that’s It’s like a city dweller standing on the outside looking at Sherwood Forest. It’s a darn scary place, until you muster the courage to step across that border and venture into uncharted territory. And there is always the chance you won’t like what you find when you get there, which I think is what holds most people back in the first place. The second time is a little better, but still very hard. Each time after gets a little easer, until it becomes a place of refuge, and eventually a place if intimacy with God.


Now, please don’t misunderstand me, this wilderness isn’t the same as that of the lost years, but more of a place that is separated from earthly desires and distractions. It’s not our permanent dwelling place on earth, but a place of safety, a place of understanding and intimacy.


I encourage you to seek this place out sometime soon.



Well, one way that works for me is taking a fishing pole and tackle box out and sitting on the shore for a few hours, alone. No ipod, no phone, no books, no distractions.

Pastor Steve does it with a tent, some water and a bible.

You have to find your own way, but the idea is stop feeding and let it start to work on its own for a while.


Maybe this will make sense to someone

God Bless


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Revelations 8:10 and 11 – Bitterness

January 10, 2009 at 6:24 pm (Bible, Blessings, Christ and the Bible, Dreams, escitology, Faith, God, Intercession, Jesus, life lessons)

10The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— 11the name of the star is Wormwood A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter

This verse stands out to me every time I read it. The strongest word for me is Wormwood. Funny, in a strange way, that that name means Bitterness. Over the last year I have seen so may folks fall away from a true walk with Christ into something else that it brings tears to my eyes, and in most every case it is due to the fact that they have allowed Bitterness to take hold in their heart.

There is another truth in this verse that I have not seen before. “…And many people died from the waters that had become bitter”. The living word of Christ often flows through his followers via dreams, revelations, prayer, deeper understanding of the word, etc. If we call The Word of Christ the Living Water, wouldn’t it stand to reason that if we take the word and filter it through a false doctrine of some type would become something different, bitter and hurtful? Turning it from living water to bitter water, causing people to die spiritually.

I believe that in the end times we will see real physical bitter water due to wormwood, but that there is also the spiritual aspect I describe above due to bitterness allowed to take root in our heart.

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Into the New Year with Repentance

January 8, 2009 at 6:32 pm (Bible, Blessings, Christ and the Bible, Faith, God, Happyness, Intercession, Jesus, Life, life lessons, Praise, Prayer, Worship)

God’s word is coming forth in so many places saying this is going to be a year of momentum, a year of moving forward, a year of mobilization.

People this is going to be a year that will be written into the history books, and never leave the memories of generations to come.

As I read the word, and study the messages of those around me, I am constantly hearing a theme for the beginning of the year.

In the book of Revelations in the letters, Gods word through John is telling the Churches to repent. The Churches, the ones who are to seek higher ground are still in need of repentance.

I think, because of my Catholic upbringing, that I need to wait to “Confess my sins” and penance is somehow the key to beginning to repent. This is altogether a LIE, and misleading by the enemy. I believe that Confession and Repentance are fully two different things. Confession is from your mouth, and Repentance is from your heart.

Confession is between you and another person. Repentance is between yourself and God, it’s a sorrow deep within your heart, a longing to strip away what ever it is that may become between you and Jesus.
My wife shared this with me, but I am sure she will give all the credit to God.
We do not need to wait for the weekend service, or the next prayer meeting. We don’t have to talk to our church friends or spiritual leaders to start this process. We have every right under the blood of Jesus to repent of our sins. You do not need to continue to live in that way until the next meeting, but can be freed through try longing and willingness to drew closer to Jesus.

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God spoke to me through a dime on the sidewalk this morning…

August 14, 2008 at 2:18 pm (Blessings, Faith, God, Jesus, Life)

So this morning I found myself walking out of my home away from home, which I lovingly refer to as fourbucks, and I see this dime laying on the sidewalk. I think to myself there’s a dime laying on the sidewalk, I should pick it up, I mean it’s money right, free money. Then I start thinking of reasons not to pick it up, it’s dirty, it’s only a dime, blah blah blah. So I walked on by this little shiny silver dime thinking my final thought on the subject was that I would leave it to bless someone else. That’s when God stepped in and a very specific thought into my mind. “Who are you to pick and choose which blessings you will receive”? By the time the subsequent mental debate had subsided I found myself getting back out of the car and going in search of the dime. Funny thing is at first I was unable to find it and I had the thought God had lifted this blessing and almost started to feel a little panicked but then found this silly dime again. I imagine God was laughing a little bit saying lesson learned.

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