Lonley in the Wilderness
My friend Kristen, over at http://midnightcry.wordpress.com, is once again sharing her journey through a topic that touches my soul, and kicks my mind into high gear.
You can read the introduction here – http://midnightcry.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/loneliness/
And the most recent update here – http://midnightcry.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/loneliness-from-the-beginning/
In the way my mind wanders as I read I sometimes find myself mentally in a completely different galaxy by the end of a text, than the author intended me to be. So if you will allow me, I am going to lament on Loneliness a while longer here today, and share some of the revelations that come along with that. If we would all be so blessed as to hear God speaking to us on this matter I encourage you to share either here or on the Midnightcry blog.
The Wilderness is something that constantly lives in my mind. I ponder the years I have spent living in the wild. How God was amazing enough to allow me to experience that for all the good, the bad and the ugly that could be found there. I believe those were necessary years in my life, as those were the years that took me from dust, added enough moisture to turn me into clay and began to form me into the creation that will leave its memory on this earth.
Sometimes I would take the reins and add a little moisture on my own and be turned into a sticky puddle of mud on the floor, or stand in the sun for too long, only to find that I had turned to dust and blown down the road in the wind. Sometimes I would even jump directly into the fire and start to form that hard outer shell. God has always taken me back out of the fire and lovingly turned me back to dust and added just the right amount of moisture again.
I tell that little story like I have reached the end of the wilderness, but that’s not the case, and that’s where the revelation comes in. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will screw up again. Somewhere, Sometime I will do it, and I will do it in a big way. Even as I try to walk with God, I will hose it up somehow. So that means, I am not really out of the wilderness. I bet I am not even as close to the edge, as I imagine myself to be. In reality, when looking at the breath and the width of mans ability to walk with God, I am guessing that all I have done is reduced the leaves in the canopy of my own personal wilderness by about tenth of a percent.
I feel like I am panting this in a negative light, and maybe that’s a good thing, but that’s not the point I am trying to get to here. What I really want to say is there are times in life where we need to shed those earthly relationships and be truly, physically alone, because those are the times when we finally can come to know ourselves. To know who we really truly are, and to know God in the way that he longs to know us.
Natives call it a Vision Quest. I call it the Wilderness. You can call it whatever you want, but the fact is that’s It’s like a city dweller standing on the outside looking at Sherwood Forest. It’s a darn scary place, until you muster the courage to step across that border and venture into uncharted territory. And there is always the chance you won’t like what you find when you get there, which I think is what holds most people back in the first place. The second time is a little better, but still very hard. Each time after gets a little easer, until it becomes a place of refuge, and eventually a place if intimacy with God.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me, this wilderness isn’t the same as that of the lost years, but more of a place that is separated from earthly desires and distractions. It’s not our permanent dwelling place on earth, but a place of safety, a place of understanding and intimacy.
I encourage you to seek this place out sometime soon.
How?
Well, one way that works for me is taking a fishing pole and tackle box out and sitting on the shore for a few hours, alone. No ipod, no phone, no books, no distractions.
Pastor Steve does it with a tent, some water and a bible.
You have to find your own way, but the idea is stop feeding and let it start to work on its own for a while.
Maybe this will make sense to someone
God Bless
Training them up – Dumbing them down
Ok, so I have been thinking about this for a while and want to try and organize my thoughts into a logical manner. I hope this blog can do that.
I am back in school again, and have been amazed at the way they treat the students. I mean, really where else can you go, and someone several thousands of dollars and be treated the way students are treated. And amazingly enough they don’t even feel a need to justify their behavior, that’s just the way it is.
Now, granted most of the students are there for a reason, and an education is a partnership that requires effort from both parties to be successful. But really the school is offering a service, and if the fail to provide that service in a manner that is satisfactory to the student, what is the school going to do about it? They will do nothing, as far as I know.
I almost laughed out loud in class today when I heard the teacher rattling off statics on how much time you will spend doing specific things in your adult life. She basically said you are going to spend about 39 years of your life doing 3 things. 8 years watching TV, 15 years sleeping and 16 years working. And her follow up to that was “So you better pick something you like”.
It was such a factory mentality that it really did make me want to laugh. By factory attitude I mean that it’s being fed to these kids that their life is going to consist of getting up, going to work the required time, go home spend a few moments with your family, and then watch TV to feed our minds with the idea of I need to have more stuff (which plays into more work) and then go to sleep, and that’s your life till you die. Support that man and his desires with the sweat of you back, and the blood of your skin, don’t dream of a better life, do educate yourself in a manner that might elevate you above your allotted position in life.
It’s no wonder our nation is falling apart 99.9% of our population is taught they are incapable of truly attaining the real dreams of their hearts. Not the dreams of 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence, with a TV and a Job, but rather of a person truly capable of changing the world through their actions. By finding things they truly care for, and being allowed to pursue those dreams with the full ability of their heart mind and soul.
Yes the educators will tell you that is not the case, that you can go where ever you want. But their actions in the classroom they teach you to be a good employee, not a person who is capable of thinking outside of the box and being original and creative.
At this point this is just an observation, but I intend to keep this in mind as classes continue, and will continue to post on this topic.
Update
So, I have had kind of a bur under my saddle for the last few days. I came to realize I miss my blog.
So, with no further a due… Nothing really new, just an update and a statement of my intentions, right here for the world do see.
An update
Well, it’s been a few months since I have been here, so what’s new?
Um, we have another Baby on the way. She is due to arrive mid to late January. We are taking a new approach this time, by switching hospitals, and also making the leap to a midwife rather than a traditional doctor. To this point it’s been a very good change, and we are so excited to welcome a new little life into this world that we can hardly wait.
I have always been proud of my kids names, so I want to share a little about each of them with you.
Jade Robert – Is my strong man. He has, since the day he was born, seemed to have a wisdom about him that is hard to put into word. His name “Precious stone” of “bright fame”
Jordan Lee Lucile – The Wild Flower, her heart is meant to be free. Her name means “Descend into a Meadow of light.”
Zander William – The care taker. Zander’s heart seems to be tied into caring for others. Within days of finding out he would again become a brother I had an image in my mind of Zander as a young man, standing bold, arms crossed In front of two beautiful sisters, each with a smile on their faces, knowing that they are safe. His name means Defender of man, will protect.
Zoe Apphia – Full of life and joy, at this tender stage in her life she brings light and joy to each room she enters. Her name means Life Increasing.
And the new baby, we know she is a she, and we have a name in mind, but you won’t get to hear about it here. I can tell you her name will stand for revolution, and victory
4 times in my life God has blessed me with a new name, soon to be a 5th. I joke around that on the white stone I will find the name Wulf, but my filled with joy, and my eyes with tears If I would see manes written in the stone like Jade’s Dad, Jordan’s dad, Zander’s Dad, Zoe’s Dad, and the new baby’s dad. Those are names of honor that I hold close to my heart, even in my dreams.
Ok, what else is new? Well, I am back in school. Attending classes at STI, working towards a Network Admin degree, and really enjoying the energy that is bringing to my life.
Started a new Job back in Feb. of this year. It’s a great gig, I love the work and people I am around now.
Outside of all that I think I have become a preper.
I am also involved with Zander’s scouting adventures
As well as all the good old stuff with sound, trying to play guitar and so on.
That’s me in two pages or less, right now.
Complete-faith's Weblog 